2003-11-07 - 8:55 a.m.

Why Guys Don't Dance

Last night I went to Mercy. A hybrid goth / industrial club that has two separate dance floors with no overlapping music. By goth, I mean Sisters of Mercy, Creatures, the Cure, Gary Numan, Kraftwerk; and ny industrial I'm talking about Laibach, Asche, Monolith, Converter, P.A.L, s.i.n.a, Absurd Minds, Wumpscut, Sonar, Hypnoskull, Sona Eact, Klinik, etc. I mean real industrial. Clubs should have two disconnected dancefloors, so that friends can go to the same space but here what they like. It helped that Mercy was held at the DNA Lounge, which is one of San Francisco's best venues.

Anyway, the industrial room opened late, but it was worth the drive down in the rain and the pain I'm now feeling. I started off dancing to the set by the DJ whom kinda screwed up my relationship with one of my ex's. I don't really talk to the guy anymore, but if he wouldn't have been the guy to screw up that relationship, somebody else would have been. Frankly he did me a big favor, but doesn't even know it.

After dancing to a few songs I went to get a bottle of water. While at the bar a dude walked up to me and said, "Hey, can we have your number?" I just stared at them both and finally said, "Uh, no." The guy then said, "You're gay, right. Because you're cute and we like the way you dance." They weren't trying to insult me. They were trying to hit on me.

Fuck! I like it when women hit on me, but when a group of twenty-year old guys are hitting on me, I'm less secure. Not because I have a problem with people being gay. And it isn't like people don't assume I'm gay. Trust me, put me in a pair of black slacks, a black or grey dress shirt, and if you�d put a few ear rings in my ears, I'd so be able to pull off the "liberal rock star" look. In other words, I do look more like a college boy than working man.

But my fear is that there are probably some perfectly hot girls whom aren't flirting with me or asking me out because they assume I'm gay. I've had girls eventually tell me that they wanted to jump for forever, but were always so afraid. Apparently I'm outspoken, talk a million miles, and some of them don't want me to laugh at them and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay."

But the thing is I'm not! And I'm not picky or intimidating. Fetish women pick up on this quickly, as they say I'm way more puppy than anything else. This I like. I'll get a great backrub, they'll mess up my hair, tuck in my shirt, and give me some water before sending me off to play on the dancefloor again.

Still, I've even had girls tell me that their boyfriends find me cute! Some of them have said that when they've played the "if you had to sleep with a guy in this club" who would he be game, I'm usually the guy favorite.

Anyway, it isn't that I'm stick thin. I'm not. In fact, I'm very normal looking in that regard. But I do dance. I don't think I'm the best dancer to come around, but at times I'll dance like a chick, for the simple reason that gender shouldn't put any restrictions onto dancing. But I do think plenty of homophobe guys don't dance, in part because they don't want women mistaking them for being gay.

But the next time somebody is pushy and asks for my number, I'll probably just fire off: yeah, I'm at 867-5309 and my name is Mark.

One last note, one of the DJs last night was expecting me (I don't know why, as I didn't tell him I'd be there). But it is so cool! He made some industrial and power noise mixes for me, as in hard to find 1990s European industrial, techno, core stuff. He also has been trying to get me information on Patrick Stevens projects.

Normal club people might think I'm gay, but the point is the DJs like me. I dance, I have fun, but more importantly, I share their interest in music. He'll be sending me the track listing for these cds in the next day or two, but damn ... why can't these guys play this shit more often! I'm listening to the disc now, and fuck, anybody calling themselves a rivethead or industrial music fan would agree that this is da bomb.

Anyway, it kicks ass when DJs give me presents!

-=-

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