2003-05-07 - 5:08 p.m.

Size Matters!

I thought state government had hit its lowest point when they were offering urinal training for us engineers. I was wrong. So incredibly wrong. Today I was tricked into attending a trash training course.

Yup. I got a lecture that the Department has to reduce its solid waste generation by 50%. And the solution was to send an annoying bitch to hand out stickers to place on our existing trash cans and tell us that our new "waste" cans would be these tiny stool sample holders that fasten to the side of our new "recycling" can. Right, the recycling can is the old waste can with the new shiny sticker on its side.

So when I asked the lady about how I'm going to fit the big paper cups I bring back from lunch, she told me to crumple them or use reusable cups. Hello? I buy the drinks in the paper cups, 'cause that is what the local retailers want. You want me to recycle, get them to.

I've spent years here, and I use the back sides of my waste paper for notes when teaching people. I use a double-sided printer to reduce the amount of wasted paper I generate. And I've been a huge proponent of distributing official documents electronically instead of via paper. I am not a major waste generator, but when she told me to drink less I was extremely offended.

I'm sorry, but when I'm out of fluid balance, my already difficult movements are much more painful. I've got a legitimate medical reason to drink like a fish. In fact, most people should. But I'm still offended by this woman telling me, "Well you aren't recycling enough, so we're taking away your trash can."

Bottom line is I'll continue to do whatever the hell I want to do. What is the worst they can do to me? Have the head of human resources give me a lecture? The fucker did a couple of years ago about having blue hair.

It also pissed me off that her solution to prevent filling up my new waste can is to crush everything. Hello? Crushed trash has the same mass! Landfills already crush your trash, and don't care about your uncompressed volume. I swear the woman was a moron. "I know! If the building is too heavy, maybe if half of the employees sprout wings and fly, we can cut our weight in half."

-=-

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