2003-03-26 - 8:47 a.m.

Anxiety In a State of War

Yesterday while in a meeting in my old office (my old office was converted to a conference room in November 2002), the building alarm suddenly went off. As a kid it was pretty common to have emergency drills, sometimes fire drills other times tornado drills in elementary school. But as we got older, the drills were less and less frequent.

I'm part of my buildings Emergency Response Team. That means if there is an emergency I'm one of the last people to get out. It isn't a pleasant feeling to know that while I'm capable of fleeing faster than most of my co-workers (I can be unbelievably fast when I want to be), that I'm essentially trapped by the poor sense of my co-workers (some of them are pretty dumb ... so dumb that I think we could train dogs to do their work and pay them in kimbles).

Anyway, when I heard the alarm my heart sank. SHIT! I work across the street from the capital, so I've always figured that this entire block is a target.

Fortunately there is a large part of me that is very authoritarian. When I'm in a crisis, I tend to get really bossy and really decisive. My main job is to direct people to the stairs and prevent them from using the elevators. I've always thought that anybody stupid enough to try and use an elevator during a fire should probably be allowed. Hell, if they burn, think of all the food no longer wasted on them?

Actually there is a serious reason for watching the elevator. During an emergency, they have their own power supplies and can be used by fire fighters. An idiot who can walk down the stairs or be carried down the stairs (another one of my jobs) using an elevator, means the people who risk their lives to save other people will be having to fight their way up through a crowd of people rushing down.

What really pissed me off yesterday was how so many of my co-workers didn't immediately leave the building. One asshole really tried to use one of the other elevators. What the fuck is up with that? I'm sorry, but there is no single object in this building worth my dying for. And seeing that I have some of the coolest things around, that means other people going from their meetings back to their desk to not just grab a coat, but to pack their bags to go home and then exit during the drill really don't give a fuck about the rest of us.

Next time, false alarm (it wasn't a drill yesterday, there was a silly accident that triggered the alarm) or real McCoy, I'm going to just say this, "Come on people. Hurry out of here. You aren't worth my dying for. Do not go back to your offices. Just leave now. Come on people. Hurry out of here."

-=-

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