2002-07-18 - 2:12 p.m.

Survivors

2002 has sucked. In fact, I can easily say it has been the worst year of my life, but some year has to behold that title, right? While talking with Bronco (who�s grandfather is approaching 100-years old � he doesn�t know how old he is, because he never had a real birth record) she pointed out that the hard part of living to old age is out lasting your family and friends.

I�m not sure if I�m predestined to be a survivor, but the idea of living longer than my family and friends is not pleasant. I still think about my grandfather from my mother�s side. He was a funny man, but I still loved him and miss him.

While I know that part of him lives in my memories, I just am not sure how much of me will remain after I�m gone.

I also wonder what people will say about me when I die. I was so ready to die just a few months ago, and now, the only reason to go, would be because everybody else would. But even then, I�m prepared to start over and make new friends. Maybe that means, fate providing, that I still got some fight and will be a survivor.

Oh well, I�ll turn this confusion into angst as I call a double poopy head on Metropolis. I�ve been waiting months for In Strict Confidence�s new albums to appear stateside, and for a week Metropolis had ISC�s new album. Last night when I went to order the album and the new Funker Vogt single both were gone. Poopy head on you Metropolis! How dare other people liking music I like! Me, me, me! Metropolis, you exist to entertain me. Not turn me into a bitter old man!

LISTENING TO: cut.rate.box New Religion

P.S. Yes, I was going to order his new CD too.

-=-

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