2002-05-07 - 10:35 a.m.

You Can�t Eat Your Food If You Don�t Move Your Head

I used to worry what the world would be like if cat�s had opposable thumbs. I�m less worried. I was seriously hurting again yesterday, so I really didn�t need Miss Persephone�s constant attention. But I got it.

Kitty Litter

Why is it when you clean a cat�s litter box that it always happens right when they want to use it? She was following me when I decided I needed to scoop her poops. I do this every day (the smell bugs me and I�d like her to have a clean place to do her business). Anyway, as I�m shoveling, she steps in.

Great, so I wait. But instead of peeing in her litter box, she takes aim and wizzes on my wall. Argh!

Can�t Walk

Walking was tough yesterday, but with a 1-year old cat attacking your feet every step of the way � basically I had no choice last night, but to sit on my couch (I felt like a prisoner in my own home). I put in Aliens (the second film) thinking that maybe those nasty bugs would scare Persephone and that maybe I could at least lie on my couch without her licking my face. But when the monsters started jumping about, instead of hiding under the couch like a cat should do (Mr. Jones did in the first film) Persephone just started purring and fell asleep.

Maybe she liked seeing Colonial Marines splattered. Oh, the enhanced version of Aliens kicks serious ass. They added back over 17 minutes of material that actually better links the sequel to the first film.

Food Bowl

This morning after my 5:30 AM wake-up call (my reinforced door held until 7:30 AM) I went to put more water and food in her bowl. Now most animals would probably let you do this. But the minute I reached for the liquor cabinet where I also keep her food, she put her paw on the door as it to keep it shut. Persephone!

So I tried harder to open the door, and she put two paws on the door to keep it closed. Er, OK, I figured she didn�t like her food when she attacked me for her donut the day before, but this was insane.

Fortunately I�m a hell of a lot bigger. The door was opened and I went to poor the food into her bowl � but damnit, her head was now in the way of her bowl. I�m sorry, but I don�t remember sticking my head between the cereal box and my bowl when I was a kid. Apparently it takes one hand to pour the food, one hand to hold the cat away while you do this.

Maybe I�d be better off taking care of other people�s fish.

LISTENING TO: Front Line Assembly Corroded Disorder

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