2002-03-13 - 10:02 a.m.

Free Funker Vogt Ticket

Well, there has been no improvement. Conditions are basically at a standstill, though at times I imagine that my left side is sore too. I think that is just my fear getting the better of me, because it doesn't throb and hurt the same.

I started taking Codeine, and I can tell that is a serious drug. My body was rippling and felt as if there was a series of june bugs crawling around my stomach and lungs. I thought I saw bubbles of skin rolling around. Basically it gave me gas, but not the same kind of gas you get from eating baked beans.

I'm pretty sad still. I had to put up a post on a local email list to give away my Funker Vogt ticket. Ah, Funker Vogt is one of my favorite EBM acts, but I haven't let my apartment for days � walking still hurts, and an industrial show is just no place for me. That and I don't know what seeing my ex will do to my weakened state.

Redwood will buy me a t-shirt and with any luck, I'll see them when I'm in Europe in May. I bought my plan tickets.

Wonderful Friends

I've simply got the best friends a person can have. Redwood stopped by Sunday. Cloud and Bronco went and brought me dinner Monday and groceries. Cloud even knew that I hate white grape juice and like the purple. Well, in small doses. I drank half of the purple grape juice then took my codeine last night. Now I just want to vomit � not sure if it is the grape juice or drugs. My dad came up from the Bay Area last night, and brought me a meatball sandwich � damn was it good. And he brought me one of my favorite trains.

Scared

The second antibiotic isn't working, which means I will see a specialist soon. I'm scared, because the cancer risk is growing now. I didn't want my life to change, at least not in a way I have no control over. Hospitals have always bothered me, and I don't handle them well. But so far I can stay at home, which is better.

-=-

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