2001-07-03 - 10:11 a.m.

So I'm Not Broken

I had a wonderful weekend. After hanging out on Telegraph with Alexandra I went home and rested before being dragged along to a private party (hosted by some computer junkies who have this incredible loft in SOMA). Shells had invited me and I'm glad she did. (OK I was a bit hurt that so many of my other friends were there, but didn't think to invite me or even mention it -- more than a bit hurt.) But I had a great time. I talked to a fair number of people, plotting in some cases to make a certain grumpy girl less grumpy. :)

By the time I got there Shells was fairly drunk and suggested that I go home later with her and one of her boyfriends. I wasn't sure if I would or not, especially considering how I've been in the past about performance issues. Around 2 AM Shells and her boi left (got a nice kiss ... um, an extremely nice kiss), and I left shortly after them. But before she left she suggested we hang out at her folks place on Sunday.

Sunday Afternoon

So eventually Sunday afternoon, Shells gave me directions to her folks place. She ended up fixing a vegan meal for me (why is it that so many goth girls are vegans I don't know) and we just hanged out for a while. Though one of the first things I noticed were some Legos sitting on the living room floor! Apparently she and her mother are huge Lego fans! Whooop! :)

After talking a bit, we watched South Park (which I've not seen in years) and somehow that quickly turned into making out.

The point isn't to talk about that (nobody wants a detailed accounting of that). ;)

But I've actually been feeling giddy and excited. The whole process of flirting is fun. It also helps that I really have no intentions or long term thoughts. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't. Experience has shown me that I'm just not a long term relationship person, so I'm actually kinda gun shy about that now. But on the other hand, this same experience has for the first time opened me up to being so incredibly relaxed that my old hang ups just aren't there.

Apparently I wasn't as broken as I thought. In fact, I'd say I now understand what Spring once said about that being a good thing actually. I actually agree with her, but it was good to experience getting over that hump. So good in fact!

I plan to drag Shells along to my domme's birthday party this weekend. That should be fun. At first I was worried how she'd feel about BDSM stuff going on at the party, but she has assured me that she is open to the stuff and it doesn't bother her at all.

-=-

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