2001-02-15 - 14:52:24

Performance Annexity.

It is something most people consider very private, and although my diary is public, discussing my own annexity is not really a problem with me. The people whom I know who read this, I've invited. As for the rest of you, personally I'd like to think by sharing a bit of this we'll help to see a more open society.

For Valetines Day instead of going to see my girlfriend I went to see a Psychologist and get my second Hep B shot. The shot ... well it hurt, they always do. But it has to be done. My next shot will be in 5 months from now.

I was so neverous about seeing the psychologist, but the experience turned out to be OK. The doctor was very nice, though it is odd talking to a doctor about masturbation.

Basically she asked me several times what I was thinking when having sex or fooling around with Spring (or anybody else ... I am poly and told her that, as well as about how I'm a sub and into BDSM). Anyway, my answer was that I was always obsessed with getting my partner to orgasm and me too. She said that I was missing the point of sex. Sex is supposed to be about just pure relaxing and allowing your body to be happy.

Spring has been telling me this and was wonderful about telling me on Sunday morning that I need to be more selfish and stop trying to please her. My doctor said that is the best advice and that I need to listen to Spring.

So what did I leave being told to do?

First, I'm not allowed to masterbate until next Wednesday. Sounds like nothing, huh? WRONG. Normally I do this 1-2 times a day. For me it is pretty hard not too. She also told me that I'm not allowed any oral sex or intercourse until she clears it.

Her goal is for me to become so sexually frustrated that sometime around Spring I'll stop thinking about Spring and focus purely on my own physical needs.

I was a bit (just a small bit) worried when I called Spring that she would be a bit upset. But she is wonderful and totally agreed with my doctor.

Although I didn't get to spend my Valentine's day with my girlfriend, we did talk and I feel like I accomplished something major ... and lasting.

After this wonderful talk with Spring, and the shot / doctor visit I decided I would take it easy and watch tv (well actually nap during it ... doctor's really wear me out, I hate them) ... but Grover showed up at my door! That was a surprise.

Basically I sat down and talked to her. Grover and I are friends and have been starting an affectionate relationship, but I wanted to let her know that right now I had to be very reserved (no sex, or orgasming allowed). Grover was totally cool with this.

We talked until around 1 AM, so I invited her to spend the night. Hmmm, I have mixed reactions about sharing a small twin sized bed with somebody on a work night. While cuddling is wonderful, I need space to sleep.

So basically I'm happy and tired. And I didn't have any sex or ograsm. I'm going to miss it, but my doctor's advice was to focus on touching and kissing for now. I like that. Who wouldn't?

-=-

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