2001-02-14 - 17:45:06

Flashback to 1989. Disintegration by the Cure. I didn't even own this album, but it was one of the few album's I heard that year.

I was in high school (yes, I'm that young ... and if you think this is old, you are a puppy). :p My best friend Bane was a Robert Smith freak. We didn't have goths in Houston Texas. I believe some folks just called darky-clads "freaks" or "new romantics". I had no money, so I was not a goth.

Actually I was an anti-goth ... a perki. I wore mostly whites and I remember always trying to cheer up Bane and our other mopey friends. But being a goth in Houston was dangerous, as Texas boys like to beat up anything they can't understand. Rednecks ... wonderful (sarcasm).

Still to this day Disintegration is such a great album. In fact, one of the news programs out here in Sacto plays the intro of Pictures of You for the 10 o'clock news! FOX of course.

I'm a bit neverous about my appointment today. I don't know what to say or what it will be like. I don't even know how much it will cost, should be $5.

I've finished my Asilomar presentation which is in about 1 week. My hair is not close to ready ... I'm beginning to panic. Well, at least worry more.

Though my dreams have remained fixed in the absurd. I don't remember much of what I was dreaming last night, except for the fact that lots of rivers and lakes were involved ... and I was not too happy about that. I don't know why but water seems to bug me a great deal, especially crossing it in boat or by bridge.

Now it comes back to me. I was in Houston as a child. In fact I was a little girl, about age 8 or so. I had a kid brother and sister, but they were incredibly young. The US President was doing something in the field / subdivision across the street from our house that involved killing loads of people and a massive cover-up. Somehow we were all out walking to the slaughter and witnessed it, so a white government van picked us up and was driving us to the next firing squad line. A man (who kinda looked like a comedian) kicked open the back of the van and pushed the three of us and a kid friend out of the van and told us to run and get help. The guards caught him as he ran the other way, but we all were so small that we hid in the bushes and sewers. I lead the four of us back to my folks place where I hid us and some photos (don't ask how I got photos of the event) in my old closet. I'd always hide in this closet as a kid.

Anyway, there were some cool pervy naked women dolls. ;) But while hiding there and watching it storm outside I noticed several trees fall down. When suddenly I had the ability to see through the eyes of some of the government agents. Basically I saw a government supervillian that looked kinda like Malcom McDowell and he promised that he'd find us. He was in another government van and started driving around with a handle of supervillian (super powers and all) lackeys to find the people who got away. He knew it was us kids, but everybody else assumed it was adults.

Somehow there was some woman on a horse who was chasing after him to stop him. Brown hair, large breasts ... anyway, they chased each other as he drove past the house I was in (which somehow from the outside looked like a white mansion ... nothing like my old house). He said we were in there and had a clue, but the woman chased him through a pond ... which somehow resulted in her pants falling off and her white shirt being very wet.

Anyway, when she figured out that the bad guys were going to get into an airplane, she rushed ahead of them (naked on her horse) and got on the plane. But instead of the bad guys climbing up onto the plane, a blue-purple haired rivetchick in pigtails climbed up the steps and said, "Expecting somebody else?"

I woke up. How odd. The night before I had dreams of my grandparents, hillsides, parking structures, Mustang cars, and bandmitten games.

Someday I'll start writting down more details about these dreams, as I'm sure they mean something. Why am I a little girl? Why are my toys of naked adult women? Why are my heros and saviors naked adult women? Why am I protecting and always leading children younger than me? What is all the water imagery?

I could go on ...

-=-

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