2001-01-10 - 02:19:15

I feel like crap.

I caught a cold ... sore throat in fact, and I'm not sure if it was from work or NYE (that is the last time I let a smelly bearded sick man kiss me ... bleck). I have been poked by needles today (having to leave early from work for the experience). I had a stick shoved in my dick (don't believe people when they tell you you just have to pee in a cup ... that hurt). And ... oh yeah, I'm getting bounced around at work on several studies.

One minute: this is a top priority. Next minute: this is a top priority. Minute later: no, that was a higher priority.

I can't think of food right now, my stomach is horrible. My apartment is a mess. I tried moving my entertainment center, but the fucking thing is heavier than me and won't budge (I hate mortal limits).

Did I mention how much I hate medical stuff? Anyway, I did talk to my doctor about my inability to orgasm. First, he confirmed that guys orgasm when they ejaculate, not just that feel good thing. Second it happens but is rare, and really is no medical or therapy solution ... which sucks. I'm feeling terrible about that.

And then he goes on to tell me that nurses are one of the highest risk factors for HIV. No this just makes me a bit mad.

My arm hurts. I took a nap from 5 til 9, and I'm about to crash again. I'm cranky, tired, and cold. Did I mention that my electric bill now is running $50, when last year at this time it was $30?

There are other things bugging me, and there actually are some good things. I've shared some great emails with Grover, but I can't see her because I'm sick. :( This just makes me all the more mopey. And then I talked to Sparky on the phone last night. That girl is fun, I don't know where things will go with her either. There is something good about seeing positive things on the horizon, but it sucks when you don't have the energy to talk or mail them.

Well, I will crawl off to bed. But I did exactly everything I was asked to, I didn't stall, and I'm trying so hard not to control (which I think somebody is doing to me and is unfair). Despite feeling bleck like, I do actually feel good about myself. I wasn't argumentative anywhere, I was a good patient at the doctor's ... try having a tiny swab shoved up your dick and not screaming. The nurses were nice to me, while I covered my eyes while they poked me. Gawds I still hate needles, I couldn't move my left arm for a hour afterwards and I drive with that arm. It made for a difficult drive home (thankfully cars can be driven with either arm).

I'm going to bed. But if I feel crappy in the morning I may call in sick and watch ESB. I need something to recharge and excite me, while not causing me to run around in the cold rain (another possible source of my cold ... yesterday I was mailing $181 worth of packages for a friend in the rain ... not exactly using my head yesterday).

-=-

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