2005-04-14 - 9:49 a.m.

Hamstring Pull

Ouch.

That is about all I can say. I pulled my hamstring hotdogging it last two Wednesdays ago in a men�s softball league. I was out in center-right field, there was a shallow fly ball. The second baseman couldn't get to it. I was planning on playing it safe and catching it on the bounce, but the right fielder and center-left fielder both were screaming for me to run faster, so I did. I even had to leap to catch the ball. I leapt, and caught it.

But I strained my hamstring. Suxor.

Time is starting to catch up with my body. I spent the past week icing my hamstring hoping to be ready for yesterday�s game. By mid-afternoon I was feeling mostly OK, but this morning my hamstring hurts a bit.

I also tore most of the skin off my knee that same game. I was between second and third when a fly ball was caught and ended up diving back to second. I left a long streak of blood and slide under the tag. Granted, it was a force out, and if the second basemen had been thinking, all that is required is tagging the bag. But I made it.

So last weekend my kid brother and I bought me some compression shorts and baseball pants. For last night's game I had the jock strap, compression shorts, and baseball pants. This is gonna sound strange, but I've got great legs. I'm starting to get a little beer belly, and I'll simply need to start crunching more and more (I've not really done any serious stomach crunches in a long time). I might not be really upper body strong, but the pants and shorts fit me like a glove. They also helped. They gave me a bit of extra support, such that I wasn't in any real pain.

Now only if I can come to terms with Howie, my (folks) cat. Howie is dying. He has been since Thanksgiving when I took him to the vet, but last weekend was hard on me. He is literally bones. But I'm not ready to put him to sleep. They say it is humane, because this is all he can expect. It is obvious it hurts him for us to pet him. It is obvious can't really see. But it also is obvious that he wants to be around me still. He still purrs.

Three years ago I was willing to put myself under. I was in such terrible pain, A strained hamstring is nothing compared to where I've been. But the doctor said it was temporary and largely in my head. He said it would be 6 to 18 months. Though it was more like 24 (and that pain returns), I saw it through. But at the peak, the darkest hour, I was prepared to simply be no more.

It is hard for me to make this choice for somebody else, even if an animal. I remember watching the pain my grandfather was in, cancer had spread through his body. But I also remember how much it meant to him to just see me. I just feel so bad right now. Work and life have been incredibly shitty to me in 2005, but I've been trying so very hard to just not think about it. To distract myself.

n.p. gridlock :: formless {US}

-=-

<< previous - next >>