2004-04-28 - 11:14 a.m.

The Things That Mark Us

Sometimes things people say burn us forever. They can be totally innocent. They may never have been intended to have a lasting effect. But they do.

In Oct. 2002, while in Berlin I remember requesting Death In June. I can't remember if I requested to Kill a Rose or Break the Black Ice. In any case, I was shocked how the song cleared the dance floor. I was disappointed.

Then I was shocked even more when the girl whom I had been talking to that night came with me to the DJ booth and the DJ felt is necessary to explain that Death In June were not Nazis. They aren't. But I can't understand why so many people who proclaim to be smart and free thinking think so.

Last year in Leipzig, I remember pointing out how a French punk / goth guy's necklace looked a lot like the Triton icon I saw on a Kirlian Camera CD. He said that Kirlian Camera were Nazis and bad.

Americans hunt for terrorists and witches, Europeans hunt for Nazis.

So I'm sitting here listening to Kirlian Camera. The music is beautiful and intelligent (i.e. non-predictable). And yet the band has been "branded as being neo-Nazi" or "pro-Nazi" for some time. They aren't. They are an Italian neo-folk band, but are NOT fascists.

It makes me mad that people will call somebody evil or whatnot, and not have given the person or group they attack a chance to defend themselves. It makes me so unbelievably mad.

But the second thing that worries me is that people lie. They seem to do this all the time. While I totally trust Angelo, what if I were to find out that some other band I listen to has political opinions I disapprove of? How would I feel about listening to that music? I certainly have read books by people whom probably are total dorks. I know I've watched movies (and enjoyed them) when the actors are really people I don't agree with at all. Where do you draw this line? Hell, I have friends who sometimes do some amazingly rude things.

The point is these are things I do struggle with. I think about. I don't always vocalize this. I rarely pen it down. But I am concerned about doing the "right" thing. Right for me that is, but that is also the point. At what point do I feel as though I'm living up to my own ideals and standards. At what point can I look in a mirror and say, "Damn, that is somebody I'd like to be."

n.p. kirlian camera ::unidentified light

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