2002-11-22 - 3:44 p.m.

Insanity By Repetition

Every 5-year old knows the name of the game. Most adults do, but if you are clever about it, you can trick them. But there are some that are just asking for a total smack down. There is one co-worker of mine that I think had his mom drop him when he was a kid.

A year ago after I had finished the Professional Engineers exam and then promised all my books to Redwood, this guy came in and asked if he could borrow my notes. I told him that Redwood is using them for the exam. He asked me again if he could use my notes. I explained again that Redwood had already asked to borrow my notes and I gave them to him. The guy asked again. I said no. He asked again (bear in mind this is in the same conversation, he is just standing above me and asking after each negative response). No. He asked again. N O. One more time, and my response was as predictable as the rest. "Are you really expecting me to take my notes back from Redwood and give them to you?" Yes, I said this.

I have no tolerance for people who don't think the word "NO" applies to them. It is a simple word. Even simpler than the word "IS".

This isn't a problem, except that this engineer had to give me results from his model so I could run mine. He was giving this project in October when I was in Europe. I came back and asked for the results. He didn't have them yet, but promised them soon. I got them around Halloween, and then found out that we could have giving me daily results instead of monthly results. I asked him to rerun the study but to print the daily results. This isn't a big deal, as the model already was calculating the daily results, he just had to change a few lines of code. I asked for three locations. He gave me one.

I worked on that location, but immediately told him I need the other two locations before I can begin. I waited two weeks. Nothing. Finally I told him, "I can't run the model until you give me these results and the deadline is in two weeks, and I'm going to be without a computer for the last week." He didn't care. grrrrrhhhhh

So this week, he finished giving me the other two locations, and I went ahead and checked his results. OK, many of you aren't engineers, but when you take a simple average of 850 and 750 what do you get? 1140 or 800? His numbers were bogus. Many of his average values were higher than his high and low values. That is wrong.

Then he started pressuring me for results.

Enter: Yesterday

Slow Engineer: So, will the water quality results be ready by Dec. 2.
Me: No, I couldn't start the hydrodynamic modeling until today. Water quality is after that.
Slow Engineer: So, does this mean you won't have results by Dec. 2.
Me: Right, I can't promise you results by then.
Slow Engineer: What about rough results.
Me: It doesn't work that way. I've not even finished the hydrodynamic simulations. I can't even begin the water quality modeling yet.
Slow Engineer: So when you finish these runs, can't you give me some water quality results on Dec. 2?
Me: No, when I finish these runs, my computer is going to be disconnected (like I already told you) until I move. I can't even use my computer for the next week.
Slow Engineer: Well, how are you going to get me the water quality results on Dec. 2.
Me: I already told you, I will not have any results for you on Dec. 2.
Slow Engineer: But I need water quality results on Dec. 2.
Me: Well, it isn't going to happen.
Slow Engineer: But I was told to get water quality results from you by Dec. 2. They can be rough estimates. Can you give me those?
Me: No. I won't give anybody results until I've checked them. It is called Quality Control. If I start giving out results without telling people what they mean I'm not doing my job.
Slow Engineer: So you are saying that it is possible to give me water quality model results by Dec. 2 before you check them.
Me: No. I said nothing about Dec. 2. I told you that I will never give out results until I've checked them. My job is to give people answers they can trust in a reasonable time frame.
Slow Engineer: Dec. 2 is reasonable, can you just give me a guess by then?
Me: No. I've not even started the hydrodynamics, but I can start them as soon as you let me finish checking the inputs here ... NOW!
Slow Engineer: Have you started the water quality runs yet?
Me: No.
Slow Engineer: When will you do the water quality runs?
Me: After I finish the hydrodynamics runs, I'll let you know when I start the water quality runs. I really need to do this now. Uninterupted.
Slow Engineer: Why can't you give me rough results by Dec. 2.
Me: ::sigh:: Look, you aren't helping me here.
Slow Engineer: Does this mean you might have results ready by Dec. 2?
Me: No, it means I'm not going to promise anything on this short of a time frame.
Slow Engineer: That sounds like you can have some rough results by Dec. 2. You can change them later!
Me: No.
Slow Engineer: You were told rough results were OK, so just give us those by Dec. 2.
Me: I will give you rough results, after I've looked through them and when they are ready. I can't promise they will be ready by Dec. 2.
Slow Engineer: But it could happen.
Me: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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