2002-07-07 - 1:22 p.m.

One for Lost Lovers

NOTE: This is not mine, but showed up on craigslist (a Bay Area online classifieds page). Anyway, when I read this I couldn't help but wondering if somebody could have written this about me. Then I wondered if somebody was writing this about one of you.

listening to winter and drowning

time hasgoneby and the world has been reborn, but sometimes i still look up
at the moon and think of the luminous paths, glowing threads of existence we
couldhave traced, the journey into the woodsofourselves we
started before you ran away. i was so very sad when we were
wrapped up together in our nest of
being, and you never really noticed � the golden glow of the
waking sun stretching its tendrils across the virgin sky has finally
entered my life; i've been feeling the nosekisses of joy on my neck
and back, but now our worlds have split(in)two.

today i woke up thinking of you, wondering somewhy where you
are, who you've become in this time apart. Everytime my mind gets
close to you part of me runs far far away, lost to me in the
forest-filled haze of my heart and i stand naked and bound by the
threads of the connection we once had. i would reach out to you,
but every time in the past i've tried i've been assaulted by a storm
of insensitivity, i cut my fingers on the very thought of your flesh,
i've been burned by the coldness of words that traveled on your
breath�

i'm not really sad for what has become, it's only the how that
sometimes brings this eclipose of me, and i can't push it in any
direction� just watch the shadows moving across the pinhole
camera of my mind.

i hope you are well, i hope you are loved, and selfishly i hope that
some nights you wake up staring at the ceiling and missing my
warmth against your back, my breath on your neck, wondering
what would be now if you hadn't run.

memory

LISTENING TO: Concrete Blonde Bloodletting

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