2002-05-21 - 5:03 p.m.

Contour the Hutt

All this not moving around is actually turning me into a Hutt. First, I want to get semi-naked dancing chicks and chain them to my chair. Not that I would care to do much � at least I don�t remember Jabba doing anything other than licking Leia. Second, I want a trap door. Especially at work! And when somebody (read: co-workers) bug me too much, I would slam my fat slimey fist on a red button and the floor under their feet would drop, John Williams would start playing music, and a funny looking lawyer spawn would eat them alive. Not like that you pervs, eat them in the gruesome �is that your forearm sticking out of my mouth still� way! Third, I would be able to have a surgical tube running from my bottled water to my mouth and wouldn�t have to bend over to drink water. I�d just sip on water all day and every now and then swing my arm onto somebody and say, �You�re my kind of scum!� Fourth, I want to get semi-naked dancing chicks around me � did I mention that already? Fifth, I would have all the little speed kids line up in front of me at a club and run circles around everybody else. Sixth, I�d keep a token force of angry armored rivetheads around me, just in case anybody gets any crazy ideas about knocking me off. Oh, the fun I could have as a Hutt Gangster!

Or I could become a hamster. Hmmm � Contour the Hamster? Well, I don�t know how I feel about eating green cubes that look like rabbit poo, but the upside down water nipple bottle thing over my bed � now that has some merit. And the exercise treadmill and habitrail home / office where I walk through tubes to get everywhere � that too would be neat. But I�ve yet to see a Hamster wear boots. Hell, Hutts don�t even wear clothes.

Screw this running around naked business, it has a time and place �

Actually today has been very quiet at work. Half of my co-workers were out in the field today. Even desk jockey engineers like me, get dragged out to the field to see what it is we work to protect every now and then. But I�m just thankful on the days when I don�t have people checking up on me at work every five minutes. Darn it, I actually do enjoy taking my shoes off and reading or writing work stuff. OK, Redwood�s interruptions are fine, but he is different. He actually has a sense of humour that nearly matches my own � hey, maybe I can talk him into wearing armor in the office one day? The question is where will I find a women will to wear a silver bikini and be chained to my chair. Evil thoughts � out!

LISTENING TO: Siechtum Gesellschaft:Mord

-=-

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