2001-12-27 - 5:24 p.m.

Christmas Gifts

Christmas eve I traveled down to Death Guild (a g/I club in SF) and danced late into the night. It was only so-so, as the DJ there really was playing mostly synthpop. No true industrial, and very little EBM music.

The crowd was thin, as most people were off doing things with family or loved ones. It was more like a group of orphans just hanging out. Shells and her clan were there, and they are now a clan. Her boys are now starting to wear kilts. Looks good on most of them too.

Actually I like hanging out with them. Basically they are good people. Her current boyfriend, Goggles, even offered to let me crash at his place in the city some times.

The Presents

I had all of my gifts wrapped before Christmas morning. woot Actually this goes against my family tradition to always do things at the last minute.

I ended up with a Blue Comet passenger car to complete the train set I had started collecting back as a child (20 years ago), a couple of other train cars (one more addition to my Halloween SpOoKy train), two air purifiers (which I need due to my breathing problems), a frying pan, and the Godfather DVD collection. There were some other assorted odds and ends. One that should get mentioning was the DuraFlame logs that I use in my apartment. (NOTE: And I�ve not burned my apartment since last February).

Date to a Club?

Lashes just called me here at work, asking if I wanted a date to �that big dance thing happening on Friday�. Ah, I actually do not like taking girls out on dates to clubs (concerts are another matter). Going on a date to me implies that you are spending time with that person. I rarely get to go to the city and club hop, so I really don�t want to be tied down to one person. In fact, I really just want to dance, and not be social at all. The list of DJs looks good, and it isn�t every night that I get to dance to stuff spun by some of these guys.

Lashes broke up with her past boyfriend because she wanted children. I don�t want children. In fact, I don�t want a relationship right now. Or better stated, there are just too many things that are different between Lashes and me, so I�m a bit wary about her. I like her as a friend, but she is way more social than I am and I don�t think music is nearly as important to her. Nothing wrong with that at all, but what is wrong is I don�t feel that I can be myself around her.

That Squishy Feeling

Last Friday night while dancing I noticed this one woman kinda watching me on and off during the night. Eventually towards the end of the night I went to sit down and she was again looking at me while seated in the couch next to mine. Redwood just ran up to bounce the floor some, and I think she started to say something. So I just walked up to her and said, �Don�t you love it when you can feel him dancing from over here?�

She loved it. We started talking for the next 20 minutes, and talked about music, drugs, people, clothing, and buses. Nothing earth shattering, but I noticed she kept touching me. Which of course triggered the shy 16-year old inside of me.

I think she was interested in me. I was certainly curious about her, but while talking she just came off as an open-minded person, but not too terribly prone to forcing people into things. It was when she said that she really is afraid of personally using drugs, but had no problem with others experimenting that I realized I felt the same way. But I liked how she just brought it up.

Sadly another reason I don�t want to go on a �date� with Lashes or anybody else, is I would like to talk to this other woman for a bit.

LISTENING TO: Death In June Rose Clouds of Holocaust

-=-

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