2001-06-26 - 6:39 p.m.

Violin in the Window

In contrast to the extreme heat wave that has hit Northern California for the past month, yesterday and today have been wonderful. In fact, it rained yesterday ... which is highly unusual.

The result of the fantastic weather is I've opened all the windows to my apartment and stopped running the AC for the first time in months. And much to my surprise, one of my neighbors is a violinist! :)

I miss hearing violin music. There really is nothing that compares, not even the best electronica. I played the violin from Jr. High through High School, when I stopped my senior year so I could be more active in political science activites. Specially a Model United Nations program.

There are days I regret that I haven't picked up my violin in years. I still own it, but the truth is I was only modestly talented. I'd much rather kick my shoes off and lie on a floor and listen, just listen to somebody else play such a beautiful instrument. ::sigh::

Music in Life

It is so sad that music isn't a more important part of our adult lives. At work I listen to CDs nearly all day. As does Redwood. Steelhead, my other office mate, has a very annoying habit of listening to light rock on the radio. OK, I once liked some rock too, but I swear most all mainstream radio stations have a playlist that could be burned onto one or two CDs.

If I move to Berkeley, one of my hopes is to hang more with a rivet kid who currently teaches an electronica and punk music class for the university. He is talented, and for some strange reason is very friendly to me. Friendly as in on Friday he came up and licked my face and introduces me to a few of his friends as his secret gay lover. Yeah, they know he is straight, and neither of us cares. But it still strikes me as strange how different people react to me.

And for some strange reason I get a ton of men hugging me and swinging me around or just touching me. It was once suggested that I look like your standard bi-sexual boi ... and well, maybe I do. It matters not, though there are a few guys I actually would experiment with.

:( The violin music stopped. The student must be off doing something else like eating dinner now.

High School Practice Sessions

Anybody who played an instrument in high school may remember those practice cards. I hated practicing so much. When I would have after school sectional rehearsals I would count the time setting up, playing, packing down, and even talking to people as "practice time" on my card.

At home I'd count the time it took to rosen up my bow as well as get out my sheet music. I'd take a fucking long time doing these things and tuning my violin as well.

I just hated practicing. The real reason is I have wanderlust. I hate being seated. I can't sleep for more than 6-7 hours. I just can't. And staying in one place makes me so irriatable. I also play by ear. I hear sounds, but I can't quite visualize them into sheet music. The funny thing is I hear better out of my right ear, at least when playing a Violin. So when I was seated next to a stronger musician to my right, I would perform well. When seated to my left, my performance sucked. I guess that makes me a weak link in an orchrestra.

Yes, my schools all had full orchrestras and I was wearing a tux as early as the 6th grade.

Why the Violin

Actually this is an interesting story. I really liked art much more than music when young. I started Jr. High taking an art class, but it had a music appreciate portion as well. We'd meet for music 2 days a week, and art 3 days a week. For the first two weeks of art class we didn't draw a fucking thing! We just copied definitions about lines and curves down in our art books.

Blah!

I wanted to create. So while at the music half of the class, the orchrestra teacher / conductor came by and played her violin for us. She asked the entire class if anybody was interested in getting a free leason to make music right then and there.

Now I'm a shy guy. Don't let my friends tell you otherwise, because I'm really only comfy around around whom I know aren't judging me (hence the performance anxiety issues). Anyway, I was sick of the writing and no art in the art class. So I raised my hand and had my first leason right there. I made some horrible spooky screeching noises ... everybody does their first time with a stringed instrument. :)

So she then asked if anybody wanted to leave the art class and join the music class. I asked, "Will we be playing the instruments or writing defitions and listening to other people play?" The conductor smiled and said that the point of music is to experience it and create it ... she said she'd have me playing my first day.

I so left art class! :p And through Jr. High I took private leasons and won tons of beginner level awards. That just ended when wanderlust settled in and I spend so much of my high school years walking in construction sites and through fields or sneaking onto Air Force bases. :)

Kinder / Gentler

Now my music interests continue, but are focused on listening to people and hearing the history of music. Lately I've been spending more time searching on line and reading interviews about groups I like.

Hmmmm, maybe I'll go to the CD store and pick up the new Velvet Acid Christ CD. On Saturday night the CyberGirl was there again and talked to me. She seems to always have ear plugs which means she can't hear me babble, but she always askes things like "what is your favorite group" or "what is your favorite colour". I'm not sure if she is just super shy and wants to talk or is afraid of me. Well, OK, she smiles a whole lot. But she has a boyfriend, so I don't think she sees me as anybody but a club friend.

Club Friend

Yeah, I hate the word, but I use it to describe people you really only talk to or see at clubs. :( I really don't like to think that to so many people I'm just a feature of a club and not a person with feelings and needs and best of all opinions and ideas. But it also takes time to build friendships. And it takes effort to maintain them. I have a few friends whom just haven't contacted me in weeks for one, months for a couple of others and I find myself drifting from them like I did from Bane.

Bane is somebody I'll probably only see once a year from now on. It just makes me sad, that is all. I know people do this, but I think it says something about my character as a person that anybody and everybody close to me goes this way. Maybe I'm just an asshole or flake. :/

Digging Up History

A few months ago I found all the old annual reports from my research group to the State Water Resources Control Board! There is so much history and good research that was lost in these papers. People who have been around for years remember the stuff, but the point of a public research group is to share our work with the world! And more important to make it available. With the internet out here, we have a great opportunity to publish the old papers and really help graduate level environmental research.

So tonight I took the first text only copy of the report and hope to visit Bronco and Cloud to on my own get electronic copies made of these old treasures. Then if I stay at the state much longer, I'll get them on-line as either pdf's and/or HTML.

I like HTML so much more. It doesn't print as well, but visually it is easier to navigate and link too. In fact, both formats are important.

Would you believe the first annual report is from 1979? I have friends who weren't alive then! :)

Interview Lost

I'm also sad today because I've not heard back from the firm I interviewed with over two weeks ago! I guess that means they are not interested in me afterall and means I'm stuck out here in SACTO. Blah! I just have never felt like I'm a part of this community, while even though the East Bay has some seriously conservative communities, everybody there respects me. It is my real home.

Well the good news is I'm getting tons of work done in the office. And now that it is publically know that I'm actively working on finding a new job, plenty of people are compliamenting me. I am just looking at so many changes that it gets overwhelming. The good news is I can handle it (and I have help).

-=-

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