2001-06-17 - 2:40 a.m.

Goth Naval Battle IV

Several years ago as part of the San Francisco Goth Annual Picnic, a few of the goths / rivets started going to a small lake in Golden Gate Park, renting paddle boats, and attacking one another with supersoakers. Today was the fourth battle (and my second).

Basically the pond, Stow Lake, is very shallow and a nasty duck pond. The water is pretty fucking slimey, but still it isn't unpleasant. Heck, it feels soapy.

Many of the goths form teams before hand and have grand plans. I like to go freelance and just see who I end up on a boat with. Interestingly I ended up sharing a boat with my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. No big deal there. Also on my boat was my domme! :) I love a girl who actually is playful and will come in and get dirty with everybody.

Redwood, Firefly (formerly Firebug), Sparky, Alexandra, and BunnyStomp were all there too! :) Firefly created these really cool triangular shields that he used to protect his two team members. When I left I was sad that Firefly and BunnyStomp didn't join use all for a late lunch, but some weekend I really want to hang out with the two of them. I'm thinking of inviting them up to SACTO again for ice skating!

Slow Boat to Stow Lake

The paddle boats are amazingly slow. No matter how hard you paddle, they slowly trod along and you have little control steering too! In order to hit anybody with your supersoaker, you have to get so amazingly close that they can hit you before you can paddle your barge out of harms way. Within the first 5 minutes everybody is soaked to the bone by the mirky pond water.

There are no winners or losers. You all "die". But for this year's creativity award I'm giving Firefly my vote as winner. Last year the pink women all had glitter bombs. Whooop! OK, I don't like glitter, but I recognize a brilliant tactic when I see one. But still, Firefly was the winner in 2001.

After the battle most of us when to Japantown and had a late lunch. While there a rivet-head was talking to me about G. The guy is nice, but is on just about everything possible. I didn't get much out of G but he didn't sound like he was eager to try it again. Not because it is bad, just because his experience was blah.

I've done pot once and it was old shit. I barely felt it. Though when talking with SexCat she convinced me to try E. In fact, she offered to hook me up on E or any other drug I wanted. I want to do a bit more research and ask around, but E is something I'm not afraid of.

Sex Club Ball

Since I didn't have any other plans (my life has become much more empty now) I joined my Play Group and when to a local San Francisco Sex Club. In fact, tonight was special, it was a "ball", which meant even the gay men's areas were open for everybody to use.

SexCat and a few others were there. I spent most of the night lying on a bed with rubber sheets with naked and half-naked people. I only took off my shirt.

It was hard going back to this sex club, because I can't let go of something bad that happened there. In a sense it is the start and end of my relationship with my ex.

It also is hard when you go to a place like that and don't have a patner. Everybody else was naked and fingering or getting blow jobs but me. :/ Based on tonight's experience and my last two out of three sex club / BDSM experiences I'm beginning to think that women have it easier. People play with them, but if you are shy like me and a guy, few women approach you. And the ones that do (none did tonight) just haven't really done anything for me.

In a way tonight was good too. I went and sat while people I knew got naked and had sex and while I felt left out (which sucks), I just left. No big drama, no big deal. I just told everybody I had to get home for apartment shopping tomorrow.

Actually I'm very glad. After my last trip there I thought I'd feel sick. And I didn't.

I guess that people in relationships really take it for granted how easy it is to have sex with somebody else, they just can not understand that it is not that easy. There are so many factors. But the bottom line is I really am not a voyuer and don't like going and just sitting there alone.

SexCat did ask me if I was dating anybody. I told her that I'm not. She also asked me about if I still believe you can only fuck people you are dating, and I told her that I don't believe that. However, I was convinced and firmly believe that if I'm going to have sex with somebody that I want to do two things first.

First, I want them to have an STD test. In fact, it has been 5 months since my last test. OK, so I've had protected sex just 3 times since then, but I'm going to have the test again. If I'm going to ask people I'll be active with to do this, I need to as well.

Second, I need to talk to and hang out a great with somebody first. Friends are fine. But I have to trust them. I found out that my intimacy issues require this. Having a hard on is great, but I'd like to orgasism sometime too. And that requires me to trust the person I'm with. If I can't trust them to respect me, I'm not going to orgasism.

Tomorrow is father's day and I'll be spending it at my folks. Nothing exciting there.

-=-

<< previous - next >>