2001-04-10 - 1:04 p.m.

Around the Lunch Table

Sometimes I wonder if people notice that while they are talking (and often to me) that I'm daydreaming. It isn't that I'm daydreaming really. Their words have hit me and have been processed. It is just a matter of how often somebody says something that makes me think about other things.

I wonder just how creative I really am, and I usually conclude not very. Instead, I believe I have a highly detailed mind and when given an idea my mind is more than happy to explore each idea to the fullest.

In fact, is this not what a sensationalist does with sensations? I already know I'm a sensationalist based on both my intimate encounters an BDSM play. I don't care for pain, but I love things that simply bring a sensation to me.

If a butterfly flaps its wings

Well, thoughts and ideas are the same. I want to sit down an explore them all. Perhaps this is why I'm happy as an environmental modeler. I'm given a question, and I tend to run with it to explain everything under the sun.

Today at lunch, Bronco, Dr. Tide, and I went to one of our usual haunts: a Romanian resteruant. Dr. Tide is one of those vegitarians that will eat fish. How gross! :p

A small sampling of what we talked about:
growing up and neighborhood communities,
adoption,
marriage,
cultural-philes, and
audience participation in live music.

Now Dr. Tide has strong opinions about everything and he doesn't hold his opinions back. When I was younger my sister said the same thing about me. I believe it was true then, but the funny thing is as I get older, my opinions are less and less certain. I'm much more interested in hearing as many opinions as possible.

It was difficult to focus on what Dr. Tide was saying, because he had so much conviction. I was left wondering if he really believed what he said or was just trying to convince himself by convincing us. People do do just that.

Why? I can understand wanting your friends and peers to think somewhat like you. Sometimes I feel like my friends work too hard to get me to think like them. I do appreciate it that they will constantly try to explain things to me.

But the truth is I feel that with all my observations I too have something to offer. I'm not some young sheltered creature. In fact, in times of life threatening danger (like when I thought a kid was going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge) I am capable of hyper rational decisions.

For Star Wars Fans

I still collect Star Wars figures. Not with any sort of major conviction, but if I see a figure I want and don't have yet, I'll buy it and rip it free from its package. Last weekend I was reading a Star Wars newsgroup and heard that the character Wuhler (he was the large bartender) was on sale at Toys R Us (TRU). Originally the figure was offered only from the fan club, so yeah ... I figured I would drive to a TRU and pick him up.

Last night I did just that. And when I got home I ripped him out of his package. What I find interesting is that many Star Wars figure collectors keep their toys locked away in the packages they came in. While I understand these people are more collectors than children, and that to them the value in the toy is in its untouched state, I'm not like that.

I need the feel of the plastic on my fingers. I need to be able to move the figures about and create diaromas. And in some cases I paint the figures or customize them. Some of these figures have turned out rather nicely.

Where does this difference in collector's needs / wants come from? Why must I open things? Why do other people simply hold them in an untouched state?

=) And where do we all put everything?

For me, part of the touching is just how I deal with things. I like to explore them. Actually toys have a smell. So do people, but that is the subject of another post. *grin*

Anal Retentive

Another issue is that I like to organize things. I constantly test as a "J" personality type. In fact, out of all of my personality traits, this one always maxs out. "J" people often are called anal retentive. The funny thing is the people who say this the most are kinda slobs so whatever. Anyway, I do take comfort in knowing that things have a plan. It doesn't have to be my plan and I don't have to know the plan. But it has to come from somebody I trust and I have to know it is there.

Back in Feburary Spring brought Mixer up to my place. He really impressed me when he was looking through my CD collection. Most people only briefly look at it, but he asked me what my "system" was. He said he saw some of it, but not all of my connections. It is nice to know that other people look for this to and notice it.

The music, card, or toy collector in me is always interested in cataloging everything. He also prides himself in his ability to quickly find things and provide information to others.

Tying it together

So how is collecting Star Wars figures or industrial music related to talking at lunch? Well, it concerns me that people believe I have a short attention span. Rather the opposite. I'm usually so focused that I could tell you the number of laces in your boots, or at very least where you were the entire time I was with you relative to everything else.

When people talk to me, I take the ideas they've tossed at me and think about them. Not always agreeing, because in some cases I'm actually trying to find a way to unconvince them. Especially when I feel like they aren't so sure themselves, but put up that barrier of "I know everything" in order to convince others. Rarely do I confront people these days. It just isn't worth it. But I still like to pride myself on having an open mind.

And naturally I enjoy the company of people who also have open minds.

For those times when I find myself in a pissing contest or "dick war", I believe HAL-9000 had it right:

"This converstation can serve no purpose anymore."

-=-

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