2001-03-14 - 05:44:23

Good God! I can't believe I've been getting it wrong all these years.

Don't read if you aren't a perv ... just don't.

Really, you aren't a perv, there is nothing for you here. That means many of you homophobic guys ... leave now. And you prudish people, nope. Go to the disney web page. :p

So tonight I was bored. I shouldn't have started, but while looking at a star wars newsgroup I started thinking about how sometimes I like it when people play with me. I was wearing my sleeping shorts, but anybody who knows me knows that I'm ticklish even through mid grade riding leathers ... so when I started rubbing my dick through my sleeping pants I stood no chance. I was just really sitting here, but I kept telling myself I would try to limit myself and not climax.

Well, after a while it felt so good, I decided to just see what would happen if I used some lube and rested on my back. Normally when I masturbate I would basically bed fuck. That is lie face down and fantasize.

My therapist thinks this might be part of my problem when I'm not alone.

Anyway, tonight I put my left hand to work (even though technically I'm a righty) and focused on what felt good and what didn't. I went slowly, and when I turned purple (per somebody special's advice) I picked up my speed and just relaxed.

What a freaking surprise!

OK, so some of you think I'm incredibly sick. Read my other entries and you can see this is a big deal. This is the first time I've done it on my back. And it is very interesting that it was my left hand that did it right. I've tried before with my right hand, no luck. It could just be my state of mind, but ... wow.

And I will say this too. This is plain and simple the best it has ever felt too! I kept going and going, and I was so tickled (what an odd thing) that I was squirming around (probably making noise) and I could have CONTINUED but my head was just way too sensitive. I would never have imagined it would feel like this.

*snicker* OK, I won't do anything for a few days, but I wanted to capture this experience and I really hope I can go there again.

Another side note: I did drink TONS of milk tonight. Maybe having a high liquid content helps. Maybe milk relaxes me. But god this just doesn't compare to what I've done before.

I wonder if this means a new and very dangerous me is emerging? Maybe not, but certainly a fun me.

-=-

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