2000-09-26 - 14:24:12

OK, don't let this fool you, there are multi entries today ... what can I say, BIG BIG weekend and week.

I promised I would talk about VNV Nation.

So Thursday night I redyed my hair using Special Effects "Electric Blue". Mixed results. Spring called while I was goopey and I got blue all over my telephone (or as a friend once called it terrorphone). The other dyes didn't turn stuff so blue.

But I've been aggressively conditioning and even moderately shampooing my hair and only now is it beginning to fade a wee bit.

[Aside: Caffeine headache. :( I know I'm allgeric to the stuff. It sucks. Or it could just be certain drinks. Some Sobe drinks really make my head hurt. Coke does. But tea never seems to. I need to drink less soda and start following Cricket's lead and drinking more tea. The girl knows her tea.]

OK, so I show up on Friday with new blue hair, and people really seem to notice. I was very faded to what somebody called "Seafoam blue". It could have been worse, she could have called me a smurf. ;)

I also had a headache on Friday, so I drive to my folks, read my email that has been waiting for 3 days and crash at 9:30 PM. ::sigh::

So Saturday I go to my seismic class. I don't think I want to think about bridges, like the Bay Bridge or high rises for a while. Too bad I work in one.

After the class I rushed to UC Berkeley to meet with Cricket. I was surprised to find easy parking next to the engineering building. Even in her "lab" ordinary clothes the girl is HOT. :) *blush*

She took me to Bongo Burger, a really cool resteruant that has tons of veggie foods. Good thing, since I love veggitarian food. I had a Fawful (not spelled anyway close). I'll get it again.

I wanted to take her to the Halloween store down the street, but we had to: (1) find ear plugs and (2) get dressed. It is so nice just chatting with her while walking around campus. I don't know why, but we really seem to get along great. Sometimes it does make me very sad that she'll be moving to Europe. Sure, we'll talk still ... but I can't help but wonder if she wants to be distant because in a few months she'll be so far away. I wish not, but if wishes were horses ...

After changing in the restrooms, where several engineering students looked at me funny, we took about 1 hour to get to the show. We were late, but I still caught din_fiv.

It seems that few people really like din_fiv, but that is IMHO because he is underplayed. People kinda seem to like whatever they are exposed to. I'm that way to a degree, but maybe not. I'm sick of some songs. But din_fiv you only hear a few songs. But his other stuff rocks.

So I was dancing to din_fiv while most people just stood there. I noticed one rivet/perv girl dancing, but she, like me loves to dance to anything industrial. And one of Spring's friends was dancing to. He is a "rivetkid" too.

Not sure if I am or not. Oh, I like music like them, but too many of the rivetkids are snobs and are frankly hypocritical. I don't mingle with but a few of the way younger ones. They seem to accept me.

Then VNV started. Cricket who was with me wandered up front. :(

I understand that she can't see, but I did want to spend more time with her.

Spring came over, which was cool. Spring is fun to be around, but sometimes very hard to read. And I was with Periodic and Velvet. I like Periodic, though most people don't. He is a good person. And Velvet is wonderful, though she'd kill me if she knew I associated her with anything swirly.

I found myself holding Spring's hand and my other hand was on Periodic. I couldn't dance it was so packed and some tall girl had cut off my view. So naturally I just jumped to the music. And with my boots on and leaning on Periodic, I was flying high. The girl in front started laughing. And she seemed to like it. I did kinda "play" around with Spring ... um, I felt a bit odd fondling her in public ... and I assumed she liked it, but she wasn't really fondling me back, which I don't care for that at all. :sigh: OK, maybe a little, but not much. She likes boy attention, which is fine, but I don't like sitting there when she can't really give it back. [Hush, I know that concerts are about being with friends, but I also wanted to have Cricket and Redwood at my sides for VNV ... VNV really is one of my big things, and just anything associated with that would have been so special.]

Anyway, VNV so much rocked, though I have no clue why they said only girls like "Darkangel". I love the song. It is so not a "girl" song.

So somehow from holding Spring's hand I found myself holding hands with that tall girl in front of me. I didn't know her name ... I don't even remember holding her hand, but one of her hands was on my butt! OMG! *snicker*

She was hot, and somehow her hand was on my butt. I think mine might have been on hers. She eventually pulled me in front her for and pulled me against her chest. 8p Wow! I mean fucking wow! She grabbed my arms and was playing with me like a puppet or boi toy.

What sucks is if Cricket and Spring weren't nearby, I would have actually probably asked her for her phone number. In fact, she asked me for my name, but when she did after the show, Spring started hanging on me a bit more. She says she didn't notice this girl flirting with me ... I believe it, but sometimes I really wish she'd pay more attention to people besides herself, because if I needed space it was then.

I'm not looking for a relationship ... well, this isn't exactly true. There are a few people I'd love to have LTRs with, but they just don't seem interested. But this girl I am certain was interested in me, or at least my enthusaism and energy (which is cool, I appreciate girls who look for this and encourage it, and this girl was big time encouraging me). When she had me in front of her, she pulled me up against her. Gotta be a sign.

She was giving me friendly looks most the rest of the night, but by then Spring wanted to hang ...

Apop was next, again Spring wanted to dance, but I had to find Cricket. I did come to the show with her, so I squeezed my way to the very front. She was there with the other munchkins. :) I would have stayed, but I felt bad about forcing my way up front. 'sides, although all of my friends love Apop, I only like a few of their songs. They are overplayed and the lyrics do next to NOTHING for me.

[Now playing: In Strict Confidence's "The Setting Off the Sun" ... so much a "little fish, big fish, cardboard box", and yet, a fun song, I mean you are blowing up the sun of all things, most cool.]

Anyway, I wanted to dance instead of bounce. That and the fact that I feared Sex (my old domme ... hmmm, actually I have had 4 dommes, 3 of them are "old") would be resentful of Spring, so I didn't want to play favorites. So I found my friends in the back and danced with them. And I had lots of space. :) hehehehe, the rivetgirl I was dancing with earlier was back there, and the truth is the two of us dance well together. We kinda both pick up the pace for the other. But I'm not really interested in this girl, she just isn't the type of person that seems mature yet.

So while I was dancing a girl fight started. Having been enraged while a kid myself, I know the best thing to do when a fight starts is for random people to just get in the way. It sounds stupid, but I remember once a fat guy called me a faggot and I lunged at him only to have his soccer teammates grab me by my waist and taking a screaming 140 lb (small in Texas) boy away. I believe the phrase, yeah, once I get free, I'll rip your fat gut off might have come out. It was actually pretty funny, cause I was flirting with the girl ref. so she came up and red carded this guy and told me to hush. I should have been at the very least yellow carded, but a red card is a serious offense, it means probation from all university sports. And she just sent me to sit on the bench.

Anyway, I hate fights, I really do and I wasn't going to let these two girls fight. So I and another friend just stood in the way real fast. Between the two of us (even though we are both small) neither girl could reach the other. Eventually security came and kicked their respective boyfriends out ... don't know why, but the girls were cool after that.

After the show I bought the first din_fiv album and was _trying_ to talk to Georgia of Unspun records. I am looking for a very hard to find album as well as some more German music (which she is an expert in). Spring. I like her a lot, but she was kinda being pushy when she was trying to get me out. That is cool, but I still am trying to adjust to her sometimes being bossy even when I was with Cricket. The only reason it makes me feel uncomfortable is I have a hard time paying attention to several people *and* I don't like somebody being assertive around me when somebody else is counting on me. It is kinda like indirectly bossing them around. A wee bit.

Anyway, Spring and her boyfriend left. Spring later admitted it was to spend time with her boyfriend, which is fine. But I'm a bit sad that she was more interested in spending time with him than going to the afterparty at Shrine with me and Cricket. Yes, yes ... I was tired and Cricket seemed sleepy too. I'm worried that Cricket isn't getting enough sleep and may be pushing herself too hard.

I just don't like that Spring sometimes isn't comfortable with telling me things. It is my own fault, because she is trying to protect my feelings. That I appreciate. But my issue is I am jealous of the fact that we get to spend so little time together and when I make an effort to spend time with her, it seems she is thinking or doing things with her boyfriend. Hmmmm, that would be why he is her boyfriend, but I also suspect that he is a bit more needy than she lets on ... I'll talk about that more when I talk about Sunday and the Folsom street fair.

Bottom line, having feelings for multiple people is very very hard. I know I do and can, but just the fact that I was uncomfortable when Spring was dragging me around and not including Cricket as much means I have to talk more to them both and also stop worring as much.

The good thing ... looking back, is I can understand how Spring feels when I start to demand more time and attention from her *while* at the same time her boyfriend does the same thing.

Hmmm, odd that I'm talking more about other people on what was my night.

The simple fact is last Saturday was probably one of the best nights of my life. Certainly the best concert!

I got to spend lots of time (quality time) with Cricket. I saw Redwood and we can share this experience forever, and I actually danced most of the VNV show with Spring.

Oh! :) Spring wore the boots I bought her. They are lovely boots. She needs to wear more boots. She is beautiful ... really. Hehehe, I even licked them a few times, just the tops, I would never lick the bottom of a boot or shoe. Bleck. It is the symbolic gesture I like, 'cause I do love boots. I'll talk about a boot fantasy sometime later. ;)

After the show, Cricket and I went to my folks house.

My mom is incredible!!! She knows how embarassed I get about my folks messiness, so she cleaned the guest room (my old room, but it isn't mine really). Cricket and I stopped at a grocery store in Walnut Creek, all gothed up ... lipstick, dressed to the 9s. And guess what was on sale at 2 AM.

PUMPKINS! :) 3 for $10. Hehehehe, it was like me in a toy factory. And I also found the worlds coolest pair of ghost boxer shorts. I love ghosts! These were spooky ghosts too.

I got the Halloween stuff, and Cricket got some tea. Yummy stuff, Cricket's tea.

At my folks place we just sat for a few hours and talked about music, people, a bit of politics and suicide and ourselves. I really can relate to Cricket. I don't know why ... she just is really grounded.

Late that night we both crashed. I was a bit worried I might snore near her, I didn't. When I woke at one point in the morning she was burried under her sheets (different bed <--- don't get the wrong idea). It was pretty cute. No, very cute.

-=-

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