2004-01-02 - 2:13 p.m.

Welcoming in 2004

Wednesday night I headed out to San Francisco with a bit of spare time, hoping to: (1) stop off at a Walmart or two in search of a toy P-47 (tank killing airplane from WWII), and (2) account for the typical Bay Bridge holiday traffic.

Walmart was closed early for the holiday.

The Bay Bridge was empty.

I arrived at the party right on time. I was aiming for an hour or so into it. Oh well, so much for sticking to GST (Goth Standard Time).

The party was pretty good. There was a cute girl there who wanted everybody to sign her panties. At first I thought this was a bit adventurous, but when she refused to play strip poker later in the night I figured either she was tired or possibly not as adventurous as I thought.

A number of the rest of us played (actually this girl started). But after I won big on the first round ... lucky draw of cards, no skill involved, it was pretty much my game for the rest of the night. The game ended at 3 am with one completely nude girl and a few guys quickly approaching.

For the past few years I've gone to New Years Eve clubs. Frankly I don't care for them as much as private parties. I often feel alone and isolated at clubs. This is fine 364 nights of the year, but on NYE when everybody is making a big show about kissing other people I am reminded that I'm for the most part alone. OK, this is largely my own choosing, and I'm happy about this. But it also means that NYE is not really a night for a loner like myself. Parties, however, have a different dynamic and I like that.

For my dancing fix, I went out to club Mercy last night, and had a blast. I can't help but wonder about the set the DJ upstairs played. I haven't cared for this guy since he started fucking my then girlfriend and taking up all her time. Years ago one of his best friends told me he felt bad about it all, but he never said or did anything about it. Since then there has been incredible bad blood between the two of us. I'm sure when I told him to go fuck himself (and other similar things) that his opinion of me dropped as well. But last night when a DJ who's sets I normally love couldn't make, this guy indirectly sent word out to me that he'd be there instead and would promise to play a set of songs similar to the other guy. He also made a point to really make it sound like he'd spin in a style similar to what I liked, but warned that it wouldn't be the exact same.

Frankly, his set was awesome. And he played a few artists and *exact* titles of songs that I've been talking to people about in December. He also threw in a few tracks from other virtually unknowns that I know he knows I love. The reason I know he is aware of my love of these artists is he was the guy who introduced me to them when the two of us worked as music vendors at the clubs. Years ago I would go to the clubs and he'd be working a friend's CD sales table. I'd throw my coat behind the table and spend half of the night helping him. I think he enjoyed my company. Though he knew a hell of a lot more about music than I did (he still does, but I think I can stand on my own with respect to certain artists), he would frequently tell the costumers that I knew more about some releases than him and would just stand and watch while I would sell the music. It was pretty obvious he was uncomfortable in selling music to strangers, but at the same time, it always seemed like he was standing aside so my own industrial / goth music knowledge would grow.

Last night I noticed that in addition to playing specific songs I've recently mentioned liking that are most certainly not including in normal play rotations, that he pulled a few of my favorite songs from 2000.

It could be a simple matter that we still like the same music. Or it could be as simple as the fact that he believes his job is to keep the clients / customers of a club happy by playing music they expect to hear. He certainly did that for me.

But there is a small part of me that wonders if the guy really does try to play music that I specifically like (some of it is incredibly unpopular) because in a small way he still respects me? My girlfriend said he did at the time. His actions never showed it, but the subject came up frequently enough. But nobody else has ever hinted at it.

-=-

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