2003-09-04 - 5:35 p.m.

Bump in the Night

Tuesday night I decided to go to bed early because: (1) I was sick the past weekend and needed rest, (2) I had to get up early the next morning, (3) I could see the writing on the wall and realized it would be my last chance to rest between now and 2006.

All was going well until I hit a terrible nightmare. Somehow in the middle of a dream I walked from some nondescript room into my bedroom, but the trick or unusual part of this dream was that my bedroom looked exactly like my real bedroom. I think I walked in when I heard this loud knocking noise. But once in my bedroom, the only sound I could hear was my fan.

Then I heard it again: knock knock knock. And naturally I started crawling along the floor of my bedroom. I was beginning to flip out because I could never remember having dreamt in so much detail. It was as if I could actually feel my dirty soxes that I left on my floor the night before. I slipped on a comic book that I actually remembered reading the night before. Everything was too real, so I decided to crawl back into bed and just let whatever was happen to me.

Knock knock knock. OK, something was really wrong, so in my dream I went to my front door fearing that a monster was gonna bust the door in and eat me. But it was a much better fate than pondering what suddenly happened to me that I could remember my own room with such vivid detail.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to see MG standing there. Apparently she was only slightly less drunk that I was tired. And worse, apparently I wasn't dreaming. The knocking was real and I was awake at 12:30 am and just let a girl who has a crush on me into my apartment.

I like her. I really do. But I'm not wanting any relationship right now, because unless you've had the chance to live alone for a year or so, you probably can not appreciate the freedom that comes with being truly independent. So yeah, you can say I'm very relationship phobic.

So what do drunk girls want to talk about from midnight until sunrise? Answer: relationships.

While it is nice to know that somebody finds me physically attractive, I wish women wouldn't feel it necessary to push me at a pace I'm not comfortable with. Naturally this leaves the question of what pace do I find comfortable at pursuing a relationship at. The answer is simple: friends first, see what happens. Selfish and vague, but I have to look out for what I'm comfortable with, because nobody else will.

-=-

<< previous - next >>