2001-05-10 - 9:20 p.m.

Names

Today I recieved an email from a person whom I consider a friend, although not a close friend. Mostly he is just a club friend, but that is because only a few times have we hanged out when not at a club.

He emailed me because he was doing an "ego" check and searching for references about himself. I made the mistake of using one of his nicknames (I do this for other people when I think they don't mind and he fell into this category).

The problem wasn't as much the use of his nickname, as he told me he actually liked the nickname I gave him ... well rather his nickname that I think of him as. The issue was I was upset the one time I wrote about him and I was not polite. Bottom line I hurt his feelings, and that always sucks.

I changed an old entry enough that I hope he will feel better. But I changed it as much for myself.

As everybody knows these diaries are public and I know that I've been hurt at times by my friends' diaries when they say things I think are untrue or less than fair. He was calling me out on the same thing.

So I do understand. But there also is a point that what I write about is how I feel at the moment.

The entry he was hurt by was from months ago, so I don't feel like I've been talking trash about him. In fact, I really haven't.

Eyes in the Dark

It is interesting though to find out that your diary has been spidered. I've known this for a while, but I also am very aware of the fact that somebody I very much do not want reading my diary has been reading many of my entries.

Again, this is open for the public and what he reads could easily be used against me. And I actually can see him trying this, but I also remember Redwood having a similar problem with a cyber stalker and talking about how to deal with them in his diary.

Foreplay or Not?

Though the person suggesting this had no idea what she was talking about and was just teasing, there is a type of personality -- the troll, that does get a rise out of mind fucking people on-line. Some of them might even consider it a form of foreplay. Talk about major creepage!

Anyway, I've gone back and reread Redwood's own personal experiences and I'm finding a way to protect myself against my own cyber stalker. :/

Socks

Why do socks take forever to fold? Why do we wear them? Oh yeah, so we don't tear up our feet. But they stink if you don't clean them, and if you do, they take longer than shirts to gather and fold. Blah.

At least this week has been a blast. I'm still so glad Spring drove up on a moments notice. I have been so busy at work that I've not had the time to write her back or talk to her. That is OK, as I don't want to crowd her and I needed some time to think about lots of things. But I've spent the time to look at all the things we've done together and how important she is to me. 'sides, any girl who is crazy enough to shove swords up a skeleton's ass and then leave a note for you saying, "This is you" is somebody you want on your good side. ;)

*snicker* OK, I'd better explain that one. I like toys. When I was at work on Tuesday Spring baked me the ghost cookies Cricket gave me way back in October and then decided to play with my Mage Knight figures and Castle Legos.

What the best part is, is that she did this knowing just how important and comfortable it makes me feel to know that other people enjoy my toys. Toys should be used, not collected. Oh collecting is a use, but I just find the creative aspects of marching army people around castles more interesting than hanging a toy up on your wall.

Please don't get me wrong, I have a few Ackbars hanging on my own walls. But coming home to a clean apartment (yes she cleaned it for me too without telling me she'd do this) where the remains of a battle lie in your living room is comforting.

I take it as a sign of things I've missed. Things I ignored and need to focus on more.

And though I've been stressed at work and home, something so little does not go unnoticed.

-=-

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